PF Chang's can kiss my hairy ass...

I have this problem with PF Chang's, as you might be able to tell. Seriously, where do they get off passing off their grub as "haute cuisine"? Or whatever it is they want to call that crap they charge you 2 arms and a toe for. I've said this for years, and I'll say it again here for the benefit of any and all listening. PF Chang's is no better than your local Chinese Buffet, and what are the chances that there are a lot of Chinese immigrants working in the kitchen back there in Chang's kitchen? Yeah, exactly, there are probably none. This place wants to pass itself off as some kind of kick ass Chinese food, but it's not. The only difference between these assholes and the local buffet is that you get less food, and slower service. Let's face it, dollar per pound, the Chinese buffet is where you throw down when you want to get your grub on. PF Chang's, if you wanted to get the amount of food there that you would at the buffet, you should bring the freakin' platinum card my friends, because it'll cost you. It'll cost you dearly, and in the process, it'll probably take your soul away as well.

My first experience with this establishment was back in the day when I was dating Deanna. She dragged me there, and I figured, hey, I dig Chinese food; why the hell not? Off we went. We get there, and the first thing that irked me, waiting for a table. I've never had to wait for a table at a Chinese buffet, why here? So, 1 hour and 10 minutes later, and 3 whiskey sours, we're seated. I decide, hey, I like me some wonton soup, I'll get that for an appetizer. Then I get old reliable for dinner, sesame chicken. Really now, who doesn't like sesame chicken. If you say you don't like it, well, you're a damn liar. Everyone likes crispy chicken dunked in some kind of sweet brown sauce. How could you not? It's got to be the MSG that they lace it with that makes it taste so good. Then again, maybe that's why I get headaches everytime I eat Chinese food, and a case of the poops, but that's a different story. Soup comes out, lukewarm at best. I don't complain, it's still edible. Not as good as #35's in Chapel Hill, but adequate. Dinner comes, and the chicken, stone cold, well, cold. I know, cardinal sin, don't send something back, but I had to, and to be honest, this is the first time and only time that I've sent something back to the kitchen for a freakin' re-do. By the time they make their way back out to me with my food, Deanna is done eating, and I'm unfufilled on the eating front. Instead of killing any further minutes in this place, we get mine to-go. I make a complaint to the manager, and I don't get a gift certificate or something like that. Nadda, just a smile and a nod. Thanks for nothing jackmonkey. The small bits of the food that I did try, once again, local Chinese buffet, sesame chicken, just as damn good as PF Chang's. These guys are running a racket, and I wish that I had gotten in on the ground floor of this bitch when I had a chance, but I didn't. Oh, the best part, grand total for the 2 of us for a sub-par Chinese food dinner which we had to wait over and hour just to be seated; >$60 (I don't remember the exact total it was 3 years ago, sue me). Overpriced for what you get, and essentially tasting the same as the $8 buffet (and that's with a drink) in town here in Chapel Hill and now there is another buffet in Carrboro. Rip off, the biggest rip-off in dining today my friends. Pure and simple. Let me know if you've gone there and experienced this same phenomenon, or tell me if you had a good experience there. For my dollars though, I'm heading to the Chinese buffet. PF Chang's, as I said in the title, can kiss my hairy ass. They suck. If some hack from their company is reading this, bring it back to your bosses, your restaurant is horrible. I hope that the Olive Garden buys you out and turns all of your locations into mediocre Italian restaurants like Olive Garden is (I have some bad memories from them as well, and will probably never eat there again - that's for another time though). Still, hands down, the best Chinese food I've ever had in the US has to be back home in Mexico Maine. It's true. If there is one good thing we have to eat in Mexico Maine, it's the damn Chinese place in town. Don't know how they got that good, but it's straight up delicious. If you're ever driving through there (why would you, but if you are) stop in, and get the number 9 dinner. You won't be sorry. The name of the place escapes me, but stop anywhere in town and ask where the Chinese joint is, and since there about 2 restaurants in town, any local should be able to point you in the correct direction.

Just a post script here. The Chad will back up all assertions of PF Chang's suckitude, that, and he's a culinary student.