'Ze parking follies...

I really hate it when I get to a store, be it the local grocery, or the local Best Buy, or wherever and there is a large parking lot. The large parking lot, not the problem, where people park, that’s the problem. Now bear in mind, there is an aforementioned large parking lot, yet these assholes feel the need to park their cars in front of the store where, in large ass block letters, it states, “NO PARKING FIRE LANE”. I’ve had what one might call “conversations” with a couple of these people before, and me being my normal wise assed self will walk by and casually say something like, “Not a parking spot.” Which of course I say in a loud enough voice so that the lazy person or persons sitting inside of the vehicle hear me. Sometimes I get a response, and sometimes I don’t. The most common response, “My wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/dog/cat just went inside to grab a couple of things.” Well, the problem with something like that is the mere fact that I too am also just going into the store to grab a couple of things. The funny thing is, is that by the time I go in, get the things I need to get, pay for it, bag it, get my change, and walk back out the door, the chain smoking lazy fat assed person is still sitting there in the same spot. Hey, I’ve been there before, I’ve dropped off someone else to go into the store to get a few things, and you know what I do? I go and park my car, or drive around in little circles until the person I dropped off comes out. Most of the time, I just park, and watch the door, and when my drop-ee comes back out the door, I can place the car into drive and go and pick them up. It’s really that simple. Why does this bother me? Mostly because it shows the laziness that has become American society in general. God forbid you have to walk more than a few feet to get inside of a store, or somewhere else that you’re going. That’s just insanity! I’ve actually seen people, and I’m sure that you’ve seen the same people, that will drive and circle a parking lot for a long ass time waiting for a spot to open up closer to the door of whatever establishment that they’re going to. I see these parking lot sharks circling like there’s freakin’ chum in the water, and the feeding frenzy is about to begin. Waiting, watching, and getting ready to attack the nearest parking spot they can find. What I find stupidly insane about this scenario is that when I see this happening, I park my ride, usually somewhere a good distance away from the entrance, and walk into the store. By the time I park, get out, lock the car, gather up myself, and walk into the store, they’re still circling. Why? Because damn it, they don’t want to have to walk too far lest they get some exercise. Do I walk to enough places? Yeah, probably not, but I do it a lot more than most people I see. The Chad was relating a story to me about going to GTCC and seeing people who would get to the campus hours ahead of their schedule class time so they could sit in their car, and get a close parking spot. Ridiculous. It must stop.

What I’m going to do is create my own parking tickets to stick on car windshields when I see someone parked in a space that’s not a parking space. They’ll say something like, “Hey asshole, nice parking job. Next time find a real parking space and walk.” You know, something really nice like that. Actually, I think what I’ll do is make a bunch of different ones, and have several on me at all times so I can hand them out like some sort of socially conscious policing effort of parking lots across this fair nation of ours. Social activism, it’s got to start somewhere. I’m sure I’ll make special ones for vehicles such as extra large unneeded SUVs, Hummers, and other vehicles that I think shouldn’t be driving the roadways of America, or any country for that matter. Maybe I can recruit others in different cities and towns across the country to print out your own tickets from my blog/website, and slap them on cars where they see this happening as well. I know I could get Graham on board with something like this, as well as The Chad no doubt. It could be a small revolution, oh yeah, I’m sure Jeremy is down as well, Dahron, and so forth. Essentially all of my rebel friends. They can become part of the rebel alliance, and maybe Darth Vader will chase us all down, or try to. Bring it on Darth you Freddy Krueger wanna-be. So in the near future, be on the lookout for “fake” parking tickets I’ll make up and you can print your own and slap them on the closest fat guy SUV you can find that’s taking up space in a fire lane, or in some other parking spot that’s actually not a parking spot.

Just a note for your Star Wars nerds out there. Episode III – Revenge of the Sith is coming out this week on Tuesday. Get your copy as soon as possible so you can see how Darth Vader evolves. Actually, I saw this episode last summer when I was in Maine, and I got to tell you, I don’t think it was long enough (Lucas you hack. Are you listening??). It went from Anakin being sort of bad, and maybe having a few bad thoughts, and sort of brushing them off and still being a Jedi, and then all of a sudden he’s slaughtering small children and other Jedi Knights? Yeah, the switch was way too fast, not nearly enough internal conflict. And also, as the SO stated, and I can agree with her on this one, Queen Amidala in this episode turned into a complete wimp. Not through any fault of Natalie Portman’s, but because of how poorly her character was written in Episode III. They took a character who had a lot of fortitude and strength, and turned her into a sniveling wimp. Not a good turn of character if you ask me. In the previous 2 movies, she was all kick ass, take names, and a good leader. This one, she’s mush. But… Since I am a fan of the movie and all, I’m going to get this one, since that will complete my collection of Star Wars movies. Also, the fight scenes in this movie, and the battle scenes are extraordinary really. Overall, the movie was still good, but it needed more development. I don’t know if there was more in there, and some of it ended up on the cutting room floor, but knowing how Lucas has developed his stuff in the past, and since it was his company making the movies, he could pretty much do whatever the hell he wanted to do, so going on that assertion, he just developed the characters badly. I could have seen this being like a 4 hour epic, and because of the huge and loyal fan base that these movies have had over the years, it still would have made bank. People would have gone to see it in droves, just like they did when it came out this past Spring. If a movie is good, or people have a sentimental attachment to it, they won’t care how long it plays on the screen, they’re down for it. Just look at the old Lord of the Rings trilogy. A couple of those movies ran over 3 hours, and people were skeptical of that, but when they rang in the cash, all of a sudden, Peter Jackson was a genius. He is also another movie guy who can do whatever he wants to do from now on because of the strength of those 3 films that he made. Which reminds me, King Kong is coming out soon by him. It promises to be, well if the hype is any indication, it promises to be a good ass movie. It’s got Jack Black in it, so I really don’t see how it could be bad. Especially if somehow he could work KG into the movie (Tenacious D reference for those not in “the know”), then it would be perfect.

The annual Halloween party was also this weekend, Friday night throwdown, and I’ve got to say, I’m impressed with my drinking abilities even though I’m out of practice. I had you know, somewhere between 7-10 beers throughout the evening, and still managed to not only be NOT hung-over, but I got in a ride this morning that kept me out on the bike for about 3 hours, or a little over 3 hours. Of course the entire time I was riding I felt like I might hurl, but I didn’t. And that’s victory in and of itself. Of course I would have felt like vomiting small projectiles of past foodstuffs eaten if Rich “Rocco” Harper, and Phil “I should have had a V8” Wikoff weren’t on the front of the local group ride killing it. Guys, seriously, that shit hurt. Knock it off. Luckily, or unluckily for us, Phil is moving away this week, shuttling off to Austin Texas with his lady Danielle, as she takes a big time real jobby job, and Phil becomes, well, becomes someone who will get to ride his bike a shit ton more. But anyway, the party. Turnout, not bad for the party actually not being on a Halloween and all. We had some random folks drop into the establishment, mostly friends of my friend Pete, but I didn’t know them, but they were decent folk, so it’s all good. Best costume of the night is either going to have to go to Emma and Peter for the Wonder Twins, or to the guy who came dressed as Otto from The Simpsons. That was a great costume. He had the Walkman and everything. Many beers and other beverages were drank throughout the night, but the most part, not a whole lot of craziness. Caroline came up from the big city of Charlotte, and it was of course, very good to see her. The insanity, just not there this year. Don’t know why, but it wasn’t, not that this is a bad thing. I mean, it’s not like the time Graham took a dirty magazine down to Dahron’s car so he could try to masturbate on the bumper as a drunken prank (he didn’t get to do it since the cops drove by when he was getting ready to do the deed). Or the time Rich passed out in the back room (for those of you who have gone to past parties you’re probably wondering WHICH party it is I’m talking about Rich passing out since he seems to accomplish this task at almost every party, but not this year actually, which was good) and we threw a funny wig on his head, and placed red hot tamale candy all over his face, and then took pictures of that with his camera. Oh no, nothing that crazy happened this time around. It wasn’t like Jeremy was running around the back room naked trying to rub his manhood on everyone. Ah, the good old days. I think we need more parties like that. Things have gotten more tame over the years. Is it because everyone is getting a touch older, or is it because we’re just getting more lame? Hard to tell really, hard to tell.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!! Heading down to the CLT to watch the Carolina Panthers take on the Minnesota Vikings. This will actually be my first pro football game. The downside, we have to drive to Greensboro early in the AM to meet The Chad and The Alex, and then drive to Charlotte to tailgate for awhile, and then go to the game, and then drive home, and then go to bed. It’s going to be a long day, but undoubtedly a fun day. After drinking many beers the other night, I don’t think I’ll be boozing it up during the tailgate, but then again, maybe I will. I do believe that there will be bloody Mary’s on offer, that will put a twist in your cap, so maybe just one to get the morning off to a nice start. The upside to going to this game is going to be the drive back from Charlotte. I believe a van was rented, which means, I can sit in the back, rest my weary head and sleep on the way back to Greensboro, and then go home, and sleep some damn more later on. It’s been a hectic weekend, but a fun weekend so far. My only regret about going to the game tomorrow is that I won’t get to ride, but that’s OK, because damn hard core training is starting soon enough, like, as in, next week.