Going to the fair...

It's that time of year again in NC when the State Fair fires up. Now look, I'm from the North, and we've had fairs, and continue to have fairs in the fall and such, but I don't think it is quite the same as this little fiasco that they have going every year. Back when I was younger, I was under the impression that fairs were for the agricultural bunch of folks running around, and for the most part, this is true in NC as well, except, they also have this huge midway where they have literally hundreds of rides being run by scary looking people. People who you wouldn't trust to leave your kids with, but they're OK to run these rides where they could damage, maim, and or kill possibly hundreds of people at a time. It brings me no sense of relief either to know that earlier this week when the fair first started up, there were something like 20% of the rides not deemed "safe". Now, I don't know what "safe" means, but to me, that says, well, NOT SAFE. So I think I'll be staying away from the rides for the most part, which pains me because I like rides, but I don't know. Carni folk, small hands, smell like cabbage. I'm going to have to take a pass on that one. I'm going to people watch, eat some fried foods, and to see the 500 pound pumpkin and other gigantic vegetables. That's going to be some extra large produce my friends, extra large. The ride thing though, now I'm all about some theme parks and such. Disneyworld, Busch Gardens and the like, I'm all over that. These ragtag midways that get set up, taken down, and then set up again over and over, makes me a skeptic. OK, so I'm a skeptic anyway, but this makes me even more of a skeptic.

Now the food eating. This is something to go for. Funnel cakes, deep fried Twinkies, and candy bars, that's some good stuff my friends. Only in the South though can they take something that is good for you, like a vegetable of some sort, dip it into some beer batter, and toss it into boiling oil before they'll eat it. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, OK, well maybe I'm sort of saying it's bad, but in a good way. Meaning, the deep fried deliciousness will not escape my clutches, I guaran-damn-tee you that. I might try to see how many different foods I can eat that come on a stick this evening. I'll let you know the count post fair going. Then there are the homemade ice cream vendors. I'm sure that's not so bad. The barrel pickles, and the list could go on forever. I'll have to bring a camera with me this evening, and post some pictures of the North Carolina delicacies that I encounter on my trip through the fair grounds. I can already hear my arteries congealing in pain and agony. Hey, when at the fair, do as fair goers do. I can't break tradition now. The really bad thing about going to the fair this evening is that my friend Chad is coming, and it's not bad that he's coming, but it's bad because he'll talk me into eating way too many tasty things that I don't really need to eat. I can see a 5 hour ride tomorrow to do penance for this mission into Raleigh this evening. I hope I don't get gravy on my white wifebeater t-shirt in all of this feasting. Jason "The Fart Sniffer" Darden seems to be a big fair goer. I've spoken with him a couple of times this week, and both times he was headed to the fair. One time to work at it for the Church he attends, and the other time to just attend. What the hell is a church doing at the fair? Trying to save all of those sinners (like myself) from themselves? Or just trying to convert the masses? Actually, it's the Bible belt silly, you don't need to convert anyone, they've already all been converted, or drawn into it all at an early age. He's going to have to answer that question for me.

The final countdown to the yearly Halloween party has begun. All of the chaos and drunken revelry will be here next Friday evening. I just got a call from my friend Caroline, she's in, she's coming up from Charlotte to attend. I hope that this year, the house gets rocked. Last year, it wasn't so good. The party being on a Sunday evening and all, that's just no good. That's why the shift has been made for this year to the weekend, and to Friday. My theory behind that is this; you get people wasted on a Friday night, you have all day Saturday to recover, and you can still do something on Sunday, so you don't feel as though your entire weekend was a waste of time for one night of drinking. This makes sense no? Yes, I'm sure that it does. This coming weekend is going to be crazy though. Party Friday night, Saturday pig pickin', Sunday football game in Charlotte, and Monday is going to be another party for Phil and Danielle (2 friends of mine moving to Texas the following day). I have a good feeling that drunkenness might prevail over this weekend for me. This will be an all time record for me, and I might just stay drunk through the entire weekend so as to not have to deal with a hangover on any of the days. We'll see how that goes for me. To top that all off, on the Monday that I'm having the party, I have a customer coming into the workplace, so I'll need to be on time this time (see previous entry about being late for work when your customer is in-house, it's frowned upon heavily by the boss and the powers to be, in other words, The Man). Monday night, actual Halloween night, I might not take in too much booze, instead, keep a nice buzzed level going on instead of totally getting knackered like I normally do when I have a party, seeing as how I do need to be at work and all. I might need until the end of the following week to get feeling normal again I think. This could be interesting indeed. I wonder what would happen if I showed up at work still stinking of beer? Well, let's not find out. I've done it before (once again Chad's fault) in the past, and it was not good. Had to chew about 2 packs of minty fresh gum to cover the stench. And when you have a hangover, working the jaws to chew some gum is about the last thing that you really want to do. It hurts the brain on a new and weird level.

I'm certain that Franklin Street on Halloween night will be packed with the college kids again, most of them dressed scantily (note to self, bring camera to Franklin Street this year). I do like walking around up there, and it's interesting to look around and see some crazy folks out there, but it's not that big of a deal. There's just a lot of people walking around in costumes, and it's crowded, hot, and well, you're walking. Walking up there from where I live involves walking up one of 2 rather large hills. That's the sucky part. Once you get there, it's all good in the hood. Getting there though is like getting kicked in the nuts by a small Chinese child with really sharp pointy toed shoes. It's just not good.