28 June 2008

How many???

How many different ways is this video wrong? Let me count them shall I?

1. Hipster glasses (black rimmed, and sort of thick Buddy Holly style).

2. No shirt.

3. He's indoors.

4. Messenger bag with all the accouterments (all of that crap hanging off of it).

5. Rollers.

6. Chopped bars with Oury grips (I hate that the hipsters discovered Oury grips about a million years after they came out on mountain bikes, you hipsters ruin everything, and you know who "you" are).

7. Helmet on his head (remember, he's inside trying to ride some rollers).

8. Improper bottom wear. Where are his capri pants and skinny jeans with a pegged leg?

9. And just overall, no sense of balance.

In hindsight, after watching the video, it's probably a GOOD thing he had his helmet on because there is no doubt he's an absolute moron who is lucky to remember to breathe during the course of a day. We don't want him to get any inner cranial bleeding or something like that, which would make his hipster condition worse. I long for the day when fixed gear bikes were for off season training, and NOT for riding to the coffee shop. And with that, I bring to you, the video that I'm bleating about above (see below).

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