The line up...

Yes, there is a queue at work on most days, and the lines start at the desks of the women that work in my office who are, shall we say, more attractive than your normal everyday manufacturing employee?

We have 2 women that work in the office area who are relatively attractive women. I can't deny that. The thing is, there is a line around them constantly while they are here. And by line, I mean a circle of men hanging around their cubicles, shooting the shit with them, throwing a little flirting action their way, and basically chewing the fat. It's kind of funny. You can tell in this place when a new woman comes to work in the office. How can you tell? The floor traffic going by the cubicle where said woman is sitting increases exponentially, and the guys who stop and talk also increases exponentially. For instance, this morning, I was heading off to a meeting. To get to said meeting, I have to walk by Kara's cubicle on my way over there. Bear in mind she shares this cubicle with another woman and a couple of guys. She had just breezed into work a few minutes prior to my walking down the aisle, and yet as I approached, I could hear the laughing, and the giggling, and tee hee-ing going on in the cubicle. As I came upon the scene, I almost had to laugh out loud. Why you might ask? Well, there was one guy talking to Kara, and there were 3 more circling waiting to talk to her. Bear in mind that the work that Kara does in no way, shape, or form relates to anything that these guys who were in her cubicle do on a daily basis. Kara works for the planning department. The guys doing the circling were 2 maintenance guys, and a quality assurance technician. It's laughable. It's almost like these guys haven't seen a real live woman in years. You'd almost think that they'd either been away at an all boy's school (which manufacturing is for the most part), didn't have wives (they all do), or had just never seen a halfway attractive woman and don't really know how to act. It's actually quite funny to see them fall all over themselves trying to be coy, and charming, and trying to distract Kara with their wily male ways. I'm almost certain that she's picking up on this, because if she isn't, she's got to be the most oblivious person in the history of the world. Being that she's a fairly intelligent woman, I know she's picking up what they're laying down, and she has them all eating out of her hand. Good for her I say. It's fun to watch 40 something's falling all over themselves, and yet, it's kind of sad in a way as well.

Then, there's Stacey. Our attractive HR woman. While Kara draws a crowd from the maintenance guys and other folks from the production floor, Stacey draws in the salaried personnel. I swear, if our plant manager spent half as much time you know, plant managing, as he does standing around cracking jokes around Stacey, our company would be a WHOLE lot better off. Every single time I walk by the HR office, and Stacey is currently here working, either the plant manager is in there talking to her, or the production manager is in there talking to her, or the plant supervisors are in there talking to her. It's an endless stream of men lining up to try and crack wise, and make her laugh, and try to get their "swerve" on, which again is funny, and yet tragic. Once again, all of the men involved in this little charade are all married. And unlike Kara though, Stacey is not. I'm thinking that somewhere in the minds of these grubby men, they're thinking, "Hey, she's single. I'm in a position of power here at this plant. I have a good income. I've definitely got a shot!" This is what they tell themselves. It's more than likely not true, or even remotely true, but still, they line up outside of her door, outside of her office, and circle like vultures looking for carrion on a road somewhere. It's actually gotten to be a standing joke with myself and a few other guys I work with. Seriously though, if these guys circling Stacey's cubicle would put as much effort as they do into flirting with her as they would their jobs, damn, we'd be a first rate operation here. But alas, they don't. They're living out their fantasies of being the big men on campus, when in reality, they're choads. Yeah, I said it, choads (sorry if you don't know what a choad is, look it up somewhere).

Look guys, these women are not going to sleep with you. They don't think you're funny, they actually think that you're kind of creepy. Stop leering, and cracking stupid jokes that are supposed to be funny, they're not. Stop trying to act all charming, you're not. They smile, and fake laugh at your jokes because they're nice women, and don't want to make you look like a total fool. Get over it, and go back to work, again, you're not going to get into their pants. They're not interested in you. Sorry, that's the reality of the situation.

I like to bring realism crashing into their world once in awhile. It keeps them, you know, possibly more grounded. Now if only I told this to them for real. A man can dream can't he?