Is it just me???

Do these things just happen to me, or do they happen to anyone else out there? What I'm talking about is the single thing that probably gets on my nerves the most. The grocery store express lane.

Sure they have a sign up there that says 10 items or less, but does that stop the person in front of me from unloading their entire full cart onto the conveyor belt? No indeed it does not. What I would like to happen in this case is that there is an automatic item counter. If you go over the prescribed 10 or 15 items that the sign says you are limited to, small taser devices raise up from the floor, and you are given a choice. The choices are:

A. Take off enough items so that you only have 10 or 15 on the belt (whichever your favorite grocery store limits the express lane to).

or...

B. For every item that you are over, you get shocked for 10 seconds. An example would be, the sign says 15 items, you have 25. So you get shocked for 100 seconds, or about a minute and a half, and then you can continue your checkout.

or...

C. You take all of the crap that you just put up there, and go to the real checkout line.

See, if the person chooses A or B, then the people in line behind these callous individuals (most of the time it is me) feel that justice has been served, and also, we're closer to making it through the check out line as well. We're in the express lane for a reason people. We want to get our shit, and move like we have a purpose. We don't want to wait around for you to get your 100 items through the express lane. That's what lanes 4, 5, and 6 are for jerkwater. Now, to add insult to injury for myself this evening, there I am, standing in the express lane. I have 2 items, count them with me here. 1. 2. And that's it. I have a quart of skim milk, and a box of Frosty Paws dog treats. The old lady and her husband in front of me have a half of cart of groceries. Man, they had to have about 30 or even 40 items. Does the pleasant women working the cash register say anything? Heck no. I mean, what's the point of even having an express lane if you're not going to enforce the "laws" here at the Food Dog (real name, Food Lion)? Going back to insult added to injury here though. This couple gets done checking out, and what does the woman pull from her purse? No, not cash. No, not a debit card like the rest of the civilized world. She pulls out a damn check book. A check book! Hey, grandma, it was OK to use a check book say in 1980, but it is now 2006. Obviously, you have a bank account. I'm more than willing to bet that said checking account could have a debit card attached to it very easily (someone dare to tell me one modern bank that doesn't do this for all of their checking accounts). Get the damn debit card, and stop writing checks! Now, she has to write out the check. The woman doing the checking out has to call the manager to get approval. Said lady writing the check can't seem to find her driver's license. She has to go and get her husband from the parking lot where he's pulling the car around so he can show his license. They verify his driver's license, and then have to make sure that the check clears, so they call it in. Finally, they get approval, and move on out. Bear in mind, I've been standing in the alleged "express" lane now for about 15 minutes while this mini drama is going on all around me. I have 2 items. Both are time sensitive to being out in the warm air, and the Frosty Paws are not getting any colder, and are starting to melt. Even though I'm not a violent person, there are times when I wish I wasn't so patient, and could yell at someone in public. Maybe just give them a good cussing out, that's all I really want to do. Maybe throw some loose grapes at them or something. I mean, this was just ridiculous. To top it all off, I have a bad headache, and my tummy tum is not feeling all that well either, and this is just pissing me off to no end. I finally get out of there though, and make it out of the parking lot before the hapless duo does even. They're still loading their damn minivan when I engage the turbo on the WRX and go peeling out of the parking lot.

Why do I always pick the short line and end up waiting the longest? I have quite possibly the worst luck in the world. I shit you not. Don't even get me started on the asshats that clog up the self checkout lanes with full grocery carts...

Insomnia and I are becoming close buds again lately. Last night, the boys who live downstairs from us were having, not a party, but a very loud conversation. I have never heard people talk this loud before in my entire life. No, really. Loud talkers, all of the people taking part in this conversation, and it kept going, and going, and going, and going, and going some more. It was like a damn Energizer rabbit thing. Now, once the loud talkers stopped for the night (college kids forget, or don't know that actual people who go to work everyday have to get up at, oh, 6AM and sometimes earlier, and enjoy their sleep when they can get it), the loud pets that we own got into it. First the cat, jumping up and down on the bed all night, knocking her water bowl around, scratching the floor, and so on. Then the dog started whining, with a whimper and a bark here and there. By the time the cat stopped jumping up on my side of the bed, and the dog shut up, it was, oh, 2 in the morning. The alarm is set for 6. This makes for a 4 hour nap. This is of course, if I can get to sleep right at 2. This doesn't happen. I'm up until 3 tossing and turning and trying to fall asleep, and finally, blessed sleep at around 3 in the morning. Now we have a 3 hour nap on tap. I wake up with a dull ache in the head, not too bad, but just enough to know that it is going to be bad later. By the time I get home, the headache is raging and continues to root around in my skull as I type this into my computer. Reference above grocery store trip, and the fact that I am so tired that I'm not going to ride the bike, even though it is 80 and sunny outside with just a nice light breeze blowing, no I can't do it. The head hurts, and I feel like I almost fell asleep about 30 times driving home from work. I feel this way because I almost did fall asleep driving home from work about 30 times today. Then on the way home, traffic is going at a crawl, again. Another person cut me off and almost caused me to crash, and people were just driving too slow (I mean 40 in a 50 zone and things like that, Mario Andretti I am not, but these people for the sake of Pete). And now, as it approaches 9PM on a Friday night, I should be tired enough to be crawling into bed, but am I? No. For some reason, I can almost fall asleep driving home from work, but when it really matters, when you really want to get some sleep, does the old brain come through for me? Hell no. I'm sitting here wide awake and unblinking. Arggghhh. Ambien, take me away. Which reminds me, time to renew that prescription. I haven't had any Ambien for months now.