State of the Union Drinking Game...

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George W. Bush State of the Union Drinking Game

First, you’re going to need a lot of beer. We’re talking 12 pack minimum here for this extraordinary rendition of this year’s game. You might be doing a lot of tippin’ during this little talk he’s going to give this evening. This might even warrant an extra trip or 2 to the store if you need a break, or need to be shaken awake during the telling of the tale. Or as the down home folks in Texas like to say, “A spinnin’ of a yarn.” For some, this might make watching the nationally televised speech more tolerable to the palate, and to the stomach. And for those of us who can’t stand to watch the man even speak, let alone give a long ass speech to the country, we might want to start throwing them down early. Pre-game warm-up one might say. Here we go (I’ve bolded the words that you should be looking for)…

1. Drink every single time Bush mentions or utters “9/11” (this alone could get you plastered).

2. Drink every time Bush says “freedom”.

3. Drink every time Bush says “liberty”.

4. Drink when Bush mis-pronounces “nuclear”, drink 2 if he uses that word in conjunction with “Iran”.

5. Finish the bottle of whatever it is you’re drinking if he mentions the name, “Bin Laden”, because let’s face it, he hasn’t talked about that guy in like what? 2? 3 years?



6. Drink 2 for every mention of “Iraq”. One for you, and one for the men and women we’ve lost over there due to a bad decision made by George W. Bush on invading that country.

7. This one might be a stretch, but drink 1 when he mentions the phrasing, “up or down vote” when talking about Sam Alito who will be sitting there as a newly sworn in Supreme Court Justice (YUCKKKK…).

8. Drink when he mentions “god”. We all know what a good god fearing man he is. Hates gay people, loves the death penalty, loves war. Yep, good Christian he is.

9. Drink when he says “health savings accounts” or “HSAs”. These are primarily private social security accounts meant to pay for your health care, and are meant to save you a great deal of money, which as anyone who has ever used them knows, this is not true. High deductibles, and you have to pay a lot out of pocket, this is the movement. This is Bush’s solution for the health care problems of the country. Like I said, this is just Social Security private accounts wrapped up in a health care bundle. Look out for this one.

10. Drink when he says “war on terror”.

11. Drink when he says “The Patriot Act”. Which is a good spin on bad legislation meant to take your rights away. Republicans love doing this. If it’s something that is actually bad, give it an appealing and shiny name, oh, and make sure it gets passed through both houses of Congress during the night when everyone is sleeping. That makes things so much easier.

12. Drink and then yell and curse at everyone else in the room if he says “Saddam Hussein”. Just trying to emulate what is going on during Hussein’s trial over there in Iraq.

13. Drink and then give him the finger when he says “brave military personnel” or anything related to the military. Because really, he doesn’t care about them.

14. Drink and then call your grandparents when he says something about his new and improved “medicare” plan and or “prescription drugs”. I say call your grandparents because they probably need all the help they can get figuring out that mess of BS.

15. Drink if they pan the camera over to Laura, and she is talking to someone else while her husband is up there speaking.

16. Drink twice if they show the Bush twins Jenna and Barbara, because they would like to be doing what you’re doing right now.

17. Don’t drink if he mentions “Hamas”. They’re a radical Muslim group after all, and they don’t booze.

18. Drink if he mentions that “warrantless” surveillance is meant to protect Americans.

19. Drink if he makes that stupid smirking face of his. You know what I mean. The one that you feel like throwing darts at. Yeah, THAT face.



20. Drink if he has someone from a military branch sitting in the front row to give good camera shots.

21. Drink if you think Ted Kennedy is hammered while watching the speech.

22. And finally, if he mentions “Katrina” finish whatever drink you have in your hand completely. And then yell, “Heck of a job Brownie!”



I think that’s all I can think of for now, of course, feel free to add your own variations to this list, and to modify it as you see fit. If this list doesn’t get you completely wasted while viewing the State of the Union address this evening, I’m not sure what will. Good luck!